DLand - And What Do You Want, Little Girl?

Mary: \"What does Genie want for Christmas?\" Sweetpea: \"Hmm ... sex toys?\"

Mary: \"No, I didn't ask what you wanted for Christmas. I asked what Genie wanted.\"

Sweetpea: \"Oh, well, you'll have to ask her.\"

Christmas shopping this year has been pretty productive so far. There are still some tough folks on the list this year that we haven't found the perfect thing for, but that will all come in due time.

Sweetpea and I filled the trunk on Sunday with toys for everyone. This is the year of toys. No, I can't tell you what they all are, silly, or it might spoil it. Just stop asking.

My aunt Sissy and parents came over for dinner on Sunday. Well, they brought dinner with them. We just had to provide the table and plates and drinks. A pretty good deal all around. We worked on some computer stuff for Daddy again (or rather still) and I showed them the Christmas tape I found. I believe I have the technology to get it on my computer, now just have to find the time.

The topic of holiday traditions came up while we listened. I always thought we had it pretty good at our house, but every family does it differently. My parents would pick out a particular wrapping paper for each child (there are three of us) and would wrap everything for that child in their wrapping paper. When Jeremy joined the family he got his own paper too. Now that we're grownups we can sometimes pick out our own paper (I like to wrap presents so I get the inside scoop). But everything down to the dental floss, chap stick, and post it notes we got was wrapped. It made a very impressive display.

The odd thing is that we never exchanged gifts. We never got my parents gifts and they never got us gifts. It all came from Santy Claus (and no that wasn't a typo). Somehow as a child this all made perfect sense. We would still pick out gifts for our extended family and exchange those, but that somehow was different. I suppose our tradition of not celebrating birthdays carried over. I know that makes my family sound like some looney cult who says Santa hunted, shot and ate the Easter Bunny but I suppose we just celebrated in not so organized ways.

It must have been strange for my brothers too. I am the baby of the family with Perry and Doug being six and a half and 18 years older than I, respectively. So when I was 4 years old getting a Baby Seaweed, Perry at 11 was complaining about me being in his territory while racing his Porche remote controlled car and my Doug at 22 was getting gift certificates from Santa for new glasses (that never phased me as a kid either apparently). They had to keep Santa alive for a really long time. I suppose that's why we still keep Santa around for us. My mother still fills our stockings with chapstick and gum. And we still get our own wrapping paper.

There were other oddities like the evolution of the Christmas Eve hunt for the Christmas tree (they're much cheaper that day too). And occasionally Santa would drop something in the fireplace on his way in (when my parents couldn't get the perfect gift in time). My co-worker's dad said that Santa would bring the Christmas tree when he brought the presents as well at his house. That seemed a little over the top to me, but hey, more power to them. Does your family have any strange or really neat holiday traditions?

DLand - Not So Shameless Plug

Always a day late and a dollar short, it seems. But it's been a full weekend so far. Since it's the Holiday season, and Joe is the swankiest guy in Canada, I wanted to remind you all to head to BlueSphere to pick up all your online holiday purchases at Amazon and Barnes and Noble. It's easy, it's free and a percentage of the proceeds from your purchases go to help kids. Check out the FAQ to find out more. It's the grooviest.

DLand - If We Make It Through December

Merle Haggard said it best, I think. My father quotes the song often, usually this time of year but anytime things start to look bleak. My past few days have been pretty icky in the work world and lack of sleep world. It's been getting me down. So I keep thinking that if I can make it through December, it will all be good. Today has been looking up, though. I purposely left work at 5:30 even though I hadn't finished all of the stuff I really should/could/would have done. It will wait til tomorrow. I informed Jeremy that today was Genie day and we would be going to the Mall to buy things that made me happy.

I bought a $5 book on pottery basics on sale. Then we trekked off to Williams Sonoma to buy a Cookie Blaster 2000 (which was overpriced like everything in that store but too neat to pass up). Then it was back to the bookstore to buy 1001 Cookie Recipes on clearance (that's less than $.02 per recipe). Our shopping spree ended at the music store going out of business where we bought only two blank tapes at $.99 each. It was bargain city for Sweetpea and me. We tried to find me a cute sweater in Dillard's but realized they only sell old lady or teen slut clothes there - neither of which really suit me well. Maybe we were on the wrong floor and stumbled into the Housewares and Fuck Me Shoes department. So we cut our losses and headed home.

The tapes are for a specific purpose. I found the audio tape my mother made of our family in Christmas of 1981. This tape, despite it's horrible quality, is like a precious jewel to me. It has my whole family on it opening our presents in our new house (the one my parents still live in today). Sweetpea said that were it not for my father's occasional comments he would say it was another family as everyone sounded completely different. My brother was 11 at the time and I was 4 and a half. I had the most horrific Southern accent north of Carolina on this tape. I believe at some point I drawled "Look what he bring me!" to my mother.

My mother, on the other hand, had this crystal clear voice. She had thyroid surgery in the late 80's and it paralyzed one vocal chord. So for the past 15 years she's sounded a little raspy. Were it not for this tape, I would have forgotten what she sounded like. Like I said, this tape is like gold. I'll have to find a way to get some sound clips into MP3 format.

Oh, and the icing on the cake tonight was our neighbors are throwing out their recliners. Our neighbors who have no pets and don't smoke and don't eat in bed and cut their grass with scissors and put moth balls in their flower beds. These chairs are in mint condition and are sitting on the curb waiting for us to retrieve them. I think it's time to go fetch them and do a little redecorating. Don't look down your nose at me. You haven't seen these chairs. They have not a tear, scratch, stain or piece of lint on them. We'll soon fix that! Muahahahahaa.

Yep, I think we're gonna make it through December. We'll be fine.