DLand - What the Genie's Been Cookin'

Well, I got my paycheck, but it's not the right amount - like a good 18% less (yes, I did the math, shut up). So I ask Dan if he decided to take out a random “processing fee.” Dan was hoping I wouldn't notice. I figured it was some mandatory donation to the First Church of Dan that comes out of all employees' paychecks now. Sigh. At least it's not some subtle way of getting rid of me - paycheck by paycheck. In reality, Dan apparently paid me what I was making in June of 2001 instead of May 2002. Fascinating, really. I've come a long way, baby.Oh, and I tried to break my arm last night. Well, break is a strong term. I was hustling down the stairs to let Sarah inside and my cartoon socks - while having a wealth of cuteness - proved to lack much traction. So my feet shot out from under me about halfway down and I flew/slid down the rest of the stairs to land up against the front door. Actually, I did this great sort of “People's Elbow” wrestling move with my left arm (the one that really hurts now) as I landed. The Rock ain't got nuthin' on me. After all that, I just sat at the bottom of the stairs staring at the floor. Partially because my socks were so slippery I couldn't get up. Partially because my arm really hurt. And partially because it was 12:30 at night and I was tired and the floor seemed a lot more appealing than the idea of trying to get up. I eventually managed to do so and didn't even give myself a black eye on the doorknob. Wonders never cease. But today is a new day. Russ is driving my 18% to me today (he's coming for the Penn and Teller show) and I have my new M&M t-shirt and it's beautiful outside. My trainees yesterday were nice and smart and that was such a rare treat. And I got first class on the way home and spent my layover in the US Airways Club listening to ESPN and surfing the web. Ah, yes, the only way to travel.

DLand - No Money, No Brains, No Star Wars

You know how yesterday I said that today was pay day and Bossman and I were glad? I'm just going to quit with that whole ironic foreshadowing thing because it's getting really old. I go to check my account online to make sure that my paycheck was deposited into the right account. Well, the good news is that my paycheck didn't get deposited into Jeremy's account. The bad news is it didn't get deposited into my account either. No money anywhere. And the guy who can fix this (Dan) is on a plane somewhere. Bah and double bah.Today has just been one of those days. Funny too, because it was starting out so well. I thought I would be able to get all this stuff done and get on my plane for Syracuse right on time. I would list all the horribleness of it, but it's just not worth it. Let's just say that my multi-tasking skills have been breaking down lately. I almost forgot to pack for my trip last night. I set a soda on my trunk only to open the trunk so I could throw my swiss army knife in it. Yeah, my trunk is full of Diet Sprite now. And I tore my carry-on bag apart looking for a lighter only to find one in my purse. Did I mention that the guy in front of me at check-in was checking 12 boxes of stuff to Nigeria? Sigh. Again this is all ironic, since Gary was talking to me about how I seem to over-extend myself. Nonsense, I said (while writing notes on the back of my hand to finish before my flight leaves). He even suggested that there are some medicines that could “slow my brain down.” Woah there, buddy. Why the hell would you want to slow your brain down? Then I'd just get less stuff done! Some of my best development work comes while in the shower and I drew that little cartoon the other day while on the phone with clients. He shrugged and said it's also a sign of intelligence. I much prefer the girl genius theory to the overworked psycho theory. While walking through the parking lot leaving Gary's I saw three people huddled out front of the Cremation Services of Virginia office smoking cigarettes. Does anyone else find this just a little funny? And I'll be here in sunny (cold) New York or trapped in an airport when Star Wars comes out. Guess I won't be seeing that 'til Saturday since Friday is Penn and Teller. Just never enough hours in the day. Perhaps I will just stay under the covers on Saturday.

DLand - Me = Winner .... Bossman = Loser

I got lots of presents today. Bossman is back from his trip and he came bearing gifts. I got a new black ball cap with “Venetian” embroidered on it (Mrs. Bossman got that for entering the tournament). And I got a stuffed monkey that he won me at the carnival (again with the monkeys). Plus I got an M&M t-shirt and another Vegas t-shirt that changes colors in the sun. Photo-sensitive ink is cool. I loves me a technologically advanced piece of clothing. The icing on the cake (mmmm, icing) was the new Caramel M&M's that came from the M&M store. We taste tested them, but the jury is still out on whether we like them.Bossman: “The second one was better than the first one.” Me: “They have a nice bouquet. Would you like to sniff the wrapper?” Bossman: “Wonder if they keep getting better? Like by the 10th one, we'll be fighting over the bag.” Me: “Let's not risk it.” Bossman didn't fair so well in the gambling world. He said the hat and the monkey were about all he won in Vegas and I got both of them. But he did have an $80 breakfast yesterday. Room service in Vegas is a grand affair. They brought a toaster up so that they could toast their own muffins in the room. And a huge bouquet of flowers. And fresh squeezed orange juice. No wonder it was $80. We agreed for that price one could take a limo to Wal-Mart and buy your own toaster. Good thing room service was comped with the rooms. Needless to say, I bought lunch today since he's broke and we're all happy tomorrow's pay day.