DLand - Feebles and Fishies

A couple of things I learned watching Meet the Feebles. Frogs foughts in Vietnam. Hippos have huuuuuge tits - poke your eye out tits. If an elephant and a chicken have sex, the baby is might crazy looking. If you snort borax you melt into a green ball of slime. Nasal sex is an up and coming porn industry. Your head can fit inside your ass. The movie was entertaining but not your average film. Sorta like Clockwork Orange and the Muppets mushed together. Feel free to borrow my DVD if you wish. Overall I give it two hippo tits up.

In other news ... The glory of cable modem is mine! All mine! I'm so pleased I could just faint. Now wild horses couldn't drag me out of these digs unless it was to a huge house with a T1 line. I'll recant that at some point but for now there is no other place to live besides here. Paradise of internet connections.

Speaking of digs, I'm very excited to hear that Mike and Sue have found a suitable home in the beach area and will be moving here soon. It's stinky that Mike has to drive back and forth in the meantime 2.5 hours one way but I suppose it could be worse.

We were eating at Ying's Wednesday and we sat next to the fish tank. There were these little goldfish type fish in the tank and two of them were making a little nest. It was the neatest thing. They had made a little gravel moon crater in the middle of the tank. And they were pulling out rocks from the middle by sucking them up and spitting them out over the edge. It was amazing to watch. I could barely concentrate on my food. I was wondering if the little fishies knew disappointment, frustration and grief. Like if I had reached in and pushed all their rocks back in would they have been like “Fuckin' A!” or would they have just turned around and said “Hey, where did all these rocks come from?” and keep going. They say ignorance is bliss.

SweetPea has lost 17.5 pounds so far in his Weight Watchers adventure. I'm extremely proud of him. His pants are falling off of him! He compared it all to role-playing and the similarities are uncanny. Every new cookbook is a monster manual and every equation for how many points a food has is like figuring what level spells you can cast. It's pretty easy and quite entertaining. We're both eating better and he's getting a healthy dose of positive reinforcement. So, go Sweetie go!

Oh, and I'm still car shopping. Can't ever be happy with what you have.

DLand - Too Much Fun for One Birthday Girl

Birthdays are so great there should be more of them. Friday was a leisurely trip to Richmond for gaming (I'm the voyeur in the group - but it's equally entertaining). Saturday was a pleasant breakfast at IHOP followed by a maddening dash back to the office in time for some work projects. Then a trip to dinner at the Duck-In before a VERY late movie at the MacCarthur Center to see Shrek - which was a very entertaining movie. I have not laughed out loud in a movie in a long time and there were moments in that one were I had to pinch myself. Maybe I was just feeling punchy. We make it home by 12:30 or so. I never have to worry about Jeremy having an affair behind my back because he can't keep any secret from me. He couldn't stand waiting to give me my present. So since it was technically the 20th, I got my beautiful black opal pendant to wear to bed.

The next day was a pleasant jaunt to my parents' to borrow the truck and gab for a while. Then off to Bossman's to eat way too much food for lunch and dinner while we watched the entire season of the Sopranos including the finale. I looooooove that show. Love it. Love it. Love it. Bossman was a sweetie and saved them all on his Tivo for me. But that's a lot of Sopranos to watch so we didn't finish until 3am. What a night. We had homemade ice cream in two flavors and barbeque chicken. Mmmmm. There were some rousing games of ping pong and Bossman got me a ping pong table for my birthday! I'm so happy I could burst. It's a Kettler indoor/outdoor kind and their indestructable. I can't wait to put ours together at home. Oh the joy of ping pong. I am a ping pong wizard. Ok, well, maybe not, but I really like the game. It's just easy enough that anyone can play without having to be good.

Oh, and Carl sent me a DVD of Meet the Feebles which I plan on watching tonight. It's described as “the Muppets on acid.” Expect a review of that soon. I'm very curious about it. Carl is a pretty kick ass father-in-law. Other than that, not much to report. It's been a good week of many cool things.

DLand - You want to put what where?!

Jeremy and I had a non-argument in the car about piercings and tattoos. I call it a non-argument because it was more of a clenched-jaw tense conversation about body modification and what would be ridiculous and what would be reasonable. My prude husband seems to think that anything other than earrings is ugly and worthless. You may choose to agree with him or not. I was proud of myself for resisting the “Fuck you, I'm gonna go pierce my forehead” response. I would like to say I'm not a piercing/tattoo fanatic but I do admire them on other people. And I toy with the idea of getting something myself. But there are too many possibilities and many of those are “no turning back” situations. Bah. It is a fruitless discussion because I'm a big chicken. I said that the best tattoos follow the shape of the body part it's on. They look less like stickers and more like body art. But then those are usually more visible and more in your face - the pink elephant in your job interview. So I said that I think the lower back is really fabulous tattoo real estate. But I find that body part so beautiful that I fear that adding a tattoo would adulterate something so attractive on its own. This is where SweetPea looks at me like I'm from outerspace. “Dude, you put way too much thought into this.” So he says “Do you think you should then find a more *ugly* body part to tattoo?!” No, of course, not. But then what is it there for? To accent the body part or is the skin just canvas? It's all so complicated.

Any piercings or tattoos you find awesome or icky? Tell me what you think.

The other highlight of our car ride was when I tried to dispose of an apple core.

Jeremy (driving): Just chuck it out my window.

Me (half-joking): I'm gonna hit you in the head. I throw like a girl.

Jeremy: Just throw it.

So I try to throw it out and nail the top left corner of the windshield. BAM! Like a bomb going off in the car! Apple slime sprayed all over the dashboard, windshield and my husband. Did I mention I'm left-handed? The sun was in my eyes. I tried to warn him.