Learning to let go

So much for that chain. I blame going to bed at 9pm with a raging headache and not dragging myself out bed until 9am this morning. But today is a new day. I was full of woe earlier this evening and tears started to well up in my eyes despite my best efforts. We discovered one reason for this was my blood sugar was 55, so some grape juice and cheese toast helped in that area. But Rich and I agreed that the other things causing me woe were things I didn't necessarily need to fret about on a daily or hourly basis and since there wasn't much I could do about them short term, we'd stop bringing it up. The problem hasn't gone away but it's not beating down our door and I don't need to carry it around with me all day and night like a cumbersome angst-filled beanbag chair.

It's a fundamental difference in how Rich and I are wired. Rich can get information, give an opinion on it (i.e. "wow, that's fucked up", "that guy/gal is a real asshole" or "shit, man") and then generally let it go. I, however, can't take casual conversations about how Cindy Lou Who is upset with Betty Lou Who or some stranger kicked a kitten without carrying that information around with me and fretting. If I can't change the Who children's behavior (or the kitten kicker) it causes me much woe. So from now on, if Miss Who wants my advice or if I witness kittens being kicked, I'll step in, but I'm not going to waste the brain power on things that I am not told about or can't change.

We'll see how this plays out. I'm trying to learn how to sprinkle some selfishness in my life. I don't have a lot of good examples seeing constructive selfishness in play without someone being an asshat. The reality is, though, that it's entirely possible for me to get what I want a lot of the time without lighting the proverbial place on fire.

Right now what I want is to go for a long walk on the beach while listening to all the Christine Kane albums I downloaded from iTunes this afternoon. She played at BlogHer last weekend and I knew I would be buying more of her music after hearing just the first song. Hello, my name is Genie and I'm an impulse buyer. Shiny!

Cha-cha-chain ...

Not Martha had an interesting link today to a life hack by Jerry Seinfeld about "not breaking the chain." Jerry's idea really spoke to me today. I've had a giant pile of great ideas for writing swirling around in my head for weeks and almost all of them have even been fit for public consumption, but most are still just floating around and not anywhere close to reaching anyone else. I've had a variety of excuses that involve things like "it's too late", "I'll have to make too many links and don't feel like the html involved", "I still need to mull that one over", "I'm not in a good enough mood for that topic yet", "I'm tired" and "I just posted yesterday so I should wait." Yes, apparently I've been telling my blog that I have a headache for weeks now and soon it's going to leave me for some younger slutty(er) blogger.

So I'm going to find myself a huge calendar or poster of some sort and start making writing part of my daily routine. Something physical and involving red ink seems more appropriate than any electronic tool. Not everything written might make it onto this web site, but it should at least keep my fingers limber on the keyboard (note to self: the longer my new acrylic fingernails get, the harder it is to type with any accuracy). I've also found that the amount of my writing relates to my overall happiness and good mood. I haven't quite figured out if I only write when I'm in a good place mentally or if writing significantly improves my mood. But if I can keep the chain unbroken for a bit, it may be a self-fullfilling prophecy where I'm pretty perky all around.

OMG BlogHer 2007 roxx0rz!!!!1!!

To say that my BlogHer experience is too much to write about would be an understatement. All I can say is that while I had a good time last year, I had a great time this year! My brain is full of so many great ideas, tools and new contacts I don't even know where to start. I have a giant list of new blogs to read and look forward to hearing everyone else's feedback as well. I also have some crazy ideas for my web site which I hope to implement in the next few weeks months.

There were over 750 attendees this year in Chicago and Elizabeth Edwards was the closing key note speaker. Regardless of politics, she is a fascinating woman and it was great to hear her comments. She graciously accepted an hour of questions from the audience and even came to the reception for a bit afterwards.

After six damn years, I think I'm finally getting the hang of this blogging thing. Last year I was so full of angst about what was the "right" thing to be doing with my web site and my voice on the internet. Now I know a lot more about how to get the information I need and take the rest with a grain of salt.

Oh and I met two other women with three-legged cats! I swear, it takes a village to raise a cat these days and I was very much at home this weekend. It was hard to get back to the grind of daily life once I got home, but I'm hoping to carve out some time for writing. I had forgotten how good it makes me feel.

I took hardly any pictures during the trip and never once dug out the dSLR. But I did a lot of absorbing instead and it was better for me overall. I can't wait for next year!