Cooking the books

After spending an hour balancing our bank account last night I was ready to hire someone to do it for me. Really, I'm at odds between my compulsion to track things to the penny and my fatigue at doing all the manual labor. I'm not sure when I started having such a hard time keeping up with it. I know part of it was all the house construction going on. That was also about the time we suddenly had two gas bills, two electric bills, two water bills and two mortgages for our two houses. Those bills are never due on the same day and the gas, power and city people can't comprehend that you might need a little more info about which bill it is other than it's the account ending in #7441. Would a street address kill you? So yeah, I've started to dread sitting down and tallying it all up.

We use Bank of America for all our accounts and I have used Microsoft Money for over 10 years now to track spending. I use Money to list every expense and deposit for our checking account. I can tell you how much I spent on my pavilion (purchased 6/5/2006), the shed at our old house (purchased 5/16/2005), and my laser eye surgery (performed on 7/1/2005 for the new fiscal year). These things are important to me to track and log somewhere electronically. But I can also tell you how many times we ate at Panera Bread last May (six) and how much our regular meal at Pho 79 costs every time we go there ($27.39).

Some of these facts are more important than others. I tell myself that I like to know what we're spending where and that Money has a ton of graphs to report that to us. I just wish there were an easier way to get the data into the system in a tidy format other than my manually typing it in twice a month.

I think our next plan is to put all our miscellaneous charges on the credit card and pay it off each month. The largest number of purchases each month is "dining out" and "miscellaneous" by far, not necessarily in amount of money but number of transactions. If I could just pay off a chunk of money each month and call it "food" in our bills, I would be happy. I would be happy to never have to enter a Starbucks receipt for $4.06 again.

I like knowing all this information but I just want it to be more on automatic pilot. I've got most of my bills set to auto pay now except for our water bill which doesn't have that option and a few others. I'm just convinced that one day we're going to come home to a very cold house and it will be because I forgot to pay a bill.

As I drag out all our papers to do our taxes, I'm glad I can do a quick tally in Money to tell me how many charitable contributions we made last year. I'm glad I can see how much heat costs in this house versus our old house. I'm glad I can know when the electric bill is due without hoping I haven't lost the paper slip in the mail. I just would like something a little more elegant.

Keeping things in the family

I've been using a dead man's dish soap for the last six months. Some people may be uncomfortable knowing someone died in their house. I actually know the exact day that Barry died in this house last March and can only assume he died in his bedroom, which is now our den. We had already looked at the house to buy it when Barry thought he was going to recover from his cancer but didn't need such a large home. And his sister-in-law Anne was the real estate agent who worked with us again after it was Barry's estate that was selling the house. We're the first family other than Barry and his parents to ever live in this home. When his brother Kevin (the executor of the estate and Anne's husband) handed over the keys to us at the signing, the key ring had their family crest on it.

Because they wanted to sell the property so fast (I assume to help pay off his medical bills), it was only about 30 days from when we first agreed to buy the house to when we were closing on it and signing papers. Barry had lived in the house for many years and had accumulated a lot of stuff. Even with his fastidious nature, there were lots of things to donate or sell or remove. We ended up buying a home that had a lot more "extras" to it than anything brand new.

There's a beautiful mahogany-framed mirror Anne said I could keep. We got an extra push mower out of the deal. I have a new butter dish from Barry and several glass corn on the cob plates (which I didn't even know they made but can't wait to use this summer). Barry collected matches (as any chain smoker might do) and we have the giant plastic tub of them to prove it. We got a large fire safe that works much better than the tiny one we owned. And the number of yard tools in the garage would rival our local hardware store!

All of these things please me. They remind me of Barry, a man I actually never met other than through a few old photos I found in the attic. They remind me of his parents and how they built this home for themselves and their six children. They make me think that in some ways we're keeping Barry's memory around this house.

When we had our Nosy Neighbor Open House, we invited Anne and Kevin back to see what we'd changed. As they walked around the house, Anne started to cry. She smiled and said that when they were dating they used to sit on the side porch and listen to the radio and she's so glad we kept the side porch in all our renovations. I told her that's why I wanted her and Kevin to come back. I wanted him to see that the room Kevin waited for Santa in was still there and one day someone else might wait for Santa in it. I wanted him to see that all we did was make some updates and a few changes but we kept their home intact and would take good care of it.

Barry never got a chance to see what we did with this house after he was gone. But I think of him often as I wander around the house and we talk about him as if he's part of our extended family.

"Where did these books come from? Oh, right, they're Barry's." "I'm going to use Barry's mower to edge the yard." "I think Barry left us a spare valve for the furnace's gas line, I just have to find it." "Let's give Barry's grill to the neighbors. It's a lot nicer than theirs and we don't need it."

I just used up the last of Barry's dish soap last week and while it wasn't my favorite brand, I was a little sad to see it go. The greatest thing you can hope for after you're gone is that people will remember you. We never met, Barry, but I remember you and your family fondly.

Wake me up before you go

I'm writing this post on my iPhone in bed. I'm wearing my jammies and will most likely go to sleep as soon as I post this. It's barely 8:30pm. Monday I decided to try to limit my caffeine. It's a bit of an experiment since Rich has commented several times about how addicted to it he is. I'm that person who can drink an espresso and then go to bed, so I never thought I was really affected by it. But now I'm starting to wonder.

I have had a cup of chai tea on Monday and a glass of iced tea yesterday and today at lunch. Every other drink has been water. I have also gone to bed by 9pm every night this week.

The good news is after 10 hours of sleep I'm ready to go in the mornings. The bad news is I'm not getting shit done besides showing up to work and feeding myself. I haven't even washed any of my clothes. I may run out of clean underwear before this trial is over. I miss my husband because I hardly see him before I'm heading to bed. I feel for those who do shift work and feel like they're missing out on so many things.

My weekly journal that logs what I do every day has been pretty sparse this week, so there hasn't been much to write about. Here's hoping I make it over this hump and have more to talk about soon. Until then, I'm snuggling under the covers for the evening.