Setting the record straight

When I was about to be discharged from the hospital, the doctor on duty came by to go over my discharge information and see if I needed anything. While she was there, I asked if I could have a copy of all the medical records from my stay in the hospital. She thought for a moment and said, "well we normally only give those to other doctors, but it's totally within your rights to have. We just don't get anyone asking for them." I told her that I know it was a bit of a weird request and she just smiled and said, "yeah, but you're a little weird." I took it as a compliment. So I went back to the hospital today to sign for my medical records and drop off a few much-deserved thank you cards. My OB Dr. D had unfortunately gone home early after pulling an all nighter the night before so I missed her, but was able to chat with a few of the nurses and promised to bring the boy back for another visit next week. My fetal diagnostic nurse was there and super excited to see our beautiful son. And I was able to get to the front desk of the maternity ward to deliver thank you cards to my delivering doctor and nurse which they hopefully will receive this evening when they get to work (more soon on all they did to deserve those as I chronicle this birth).

After getting fussed at by the woman at "Patient Information Services" (that's what they call the medical records department now) for bringing the boy with me to the hospital while she has a cold, she did print out a copy of all my records from my stay. For being such a thick packet of paper it is surprisingly sparse on the details of my birth experience. I did find out I was officially on an epidural from 23:35 Wednesday night to 06:44 Thursday morning, but nothing says what the dosages were during that time and I know for a fact they turned it off around 3am. I had to Google what it meant for me to have macrosomia since it sounded serious - apparently that's medicalese for "big baby". Other notes include:

"Patient requests natural TOL (trial of labor?) despite Bishop score of 2 and fetal macrosomia. Patient preference is no Pitocin, saline lock on the IV, doula in the room, and not to remain in bed during trial of labor. Patient has been offered a C/S (c-section?) in the past and today, but requests TOL prior to C/S."

I also learned that I had "bilateral 2nd degree sulcal tears repaired with 2.0 vicryl" which translates to "shredded crotch", but it doesn't detail all the lengths and care the doctor went to putting me back together.

The records told me that Ian's Apgar score was 5 at one minute and 7 at five minutes, something no one told me while we were there.

What's odd is that nothing says what time I was given Pitocin and what the increments were changed to over the evening. I'm not sure if this is because they didn't give me all the records or if they literally don't log all that. I lean towards the latter since it says I only had 30mL of mineral oil and I know for a fact they must have dumped at least a gallon on me to keep me from tearing more than I did.

All of this goes to show that if you want to know what happens to you when you're at the hospital, it's up to you to log it yourself. I look forward to reading the notes our doula took for us as she wrote down the name of every doctor and nurse we spoke to as well as all the medications I was given and when. It was still very worthwhile to get all the records, but they certainly only tell part of the story. I'll be curious to see if there are more details somewhere else that my OB will have when I see her in a few weeks.

Recap of 10th Living Out Loud project: When I grow up

Ever the team player, my child has slept from noon until after 5pm today so that I take a much-needed two hour nap, write my own entry for this month and compile all the other entries for our latest Living Out Loud project. He has done his momma proud. With no further ado, I present this month's entries. I'm happy to see how we're all faring as grown ups out in the world.

SuziCate's Digging in the Dirt First, let me say that SuziCate has been a writing MACHINE lately. She went back and did all the previous LOLs and continues to write great stuff online. She started out as one of those "hair cutter ladies" I wanted to be but has since moved on to another job I think would be fun to have.

Gina's When I grow up My first grade teacher was also named Mrs. Wiggins and she was awesome! As for getting to where we want to be in life, thankfully it takes us our whole life to get there so there's still plenty of time left.

Wil's When I grow up I find it really funny that Wil's list of potential dream jobs is not far off from my own (perhaps minus the helicopter pilot one). I love languages too and pick them up fast so always thought it would be cool to be a translator or something like that. Maybe there are more jobs than we realize that involve translating.

Deb's When I grow up ... Ah yes, just like Communication Studies there are worse unused majors to have than Sociology. We always said that Sociology was the highest paying major at Virginia Tech, but that was just because the football players picked it and went on to the NFL. I am too sensitive of a soul for social work, but I admire anyone who can do it. And maybe you'll get to bake your bread yet.

Megan's Writer: When I grow up Megan reminds me that what we are when we grow up is not necessarily what we get a regular paycheck for doing.

Ben's What I Didn't Want to Be I married and lived many years with a man with ADHD and it was like the third person in our marriage in many ways, so I can empathize with what Ben says about not wanting to be that person. But just like diabetes is a part of any relationship I have, we make the best of it and in many ways it gives us a lot of our gifts too.

Kim's What I Wanted to Be I would have never guessed that Kim would one day be a nurse if you had asked me 15 years ago. And yet here she is well on that path. And for all the reasons she says, I think it's a terrific decision. That and fashion design is kinda out (but love that drawing!).

JBarbie's Unconditional This entry of course speaks to a recent soft spot in my heart as I embark on this journey of motherhood. Seeing the joy in my own mother's face now at 71 years old as she finally gets to be a grandma, I can see how this is a job that won't ever go away. Despite all the cliches it's a job you never truly quit until the day you die.

Kaylyn Pippin's Reckless Abandonment I can't imagine all that Kaylyn has gone through but it really does make me smile to see how she's gotten to where she is now. It may not seem like a success on paper, but we know it's really the greatest success she's had thus far. Go team!

Karal's Somebody Unlike me, Karal wanted to be an astronaut and an archaeologist as a kid. And I'm so proud of her for all the digging and star gazing she's done lately.

And my own Would you like fries or a hosted server with that?

I was unsure how many folks would be inspired to write for this month's theme, but yet again you all have impressed me with your enthusiasm.

And I say this each time but all the entries were fantastic! I have, however, chosen Ben as this month's winner because he covered an interesting topic of what we don't want to be when we grow up (and I have great empathy for his challenges having watched my ex-husband struggle).

Ben will receive a gift card for a month of World of Warcraft, because while it's a horrible distraction it's also a great way to stay in touch with friends.

Stay tuned for next month's topic very soon. I'm going to try my hand at NaBloPoMo again this year and post every day this month. But since my son is awake now and hungry, it may literally only be one hand at a time.

Would you like fries or a hosted server with that?

When I was a kid, I never said I wanted to be an astronaut or a beauty queen or anything glamorous. I always wanted to be a "hair cutter lady" or a waitress or work at McDonald's (so I could make sure the orders were right). They were the jobs I saw in my day to day life and those people seemed nice, so I wanted to have one of those jobs. As I became a teenager, I wasn't really sure what I wanted to be. My parents always focused on getting an education that would gain me some marketable skill that would allow me to always have a job. Ever the pragmatics, they focused on jobs like accountants or engineers. Someone would always need their taxes done or a bridge built. People don't need to pay for poems to be written for them.

The year I graduated college was the same year Mom got breast cancer and Dad lost his job. It was a rough year for all of us. I only applied to two schools - Old Dominion University and Virginia Tech, with the idea that I could live at home if need be and both were less expensive state schools. I find it ironic that I do so much writing now when I never had to write a single college entrance essay.

I started out as an engineering major until I actually took engineering classes. Oh, how I loathed those classes. I loved math, even calculus, but suddenly vector geometry and linear algebra weren't really doing it for me anymore. After my first semester, I quickly changed over to Communication Studies, much to my father's dismay. I think he was convinced I would get that childhood dream of working at McDonald's after all. I remember him saying on the phone, "what does a communications major even do anyways?"

But fate smiled on me. I took incredibly easy classes that I was really good at. I finished my degree in three years versus four. I was able to work at least 20 hours a week in the library in addition to my coursework because it wasn't a strain. And that work in the library got me my first full time job, which led to my second full time job where I am today.

I'm not sure if people focus anymore on a particular occupation they want to be. I took those classes having no idea what I would do with them. I could have gone into journalism, but I'm not sure my heart would have been in it. I maybe could have become a speech writer but again, not sure if that would have really wowed me. And I'm not sure they have a college major for what I do now.

What I do now is about as close as I can get to my dream job and still make a living at it. I get to do technical things like help maintain web and database servers and write complicated queries for statistics. I get to talk to educated, genuine, kind-hearted librarians on a regular basis with a passion for learning and information sharing. I get to wear yoga pants to work. I have a pretty high level of control over my own work environment and policies so I'm not mired in bullshit. I have the flexibility to work from home if need be for random issues but a fine office to come into the majority of the time (I hate working from home). I can't remember the last time I wore panty hose for work.

But more important than all of those perks, I do a job where I feel like my talents are put to the best use. I do things in my job that I'm not sure any of the other employees could do but that come naturally to me. It's the best of all possible worlds, to feel appreciated for who I am. I use my powers of empathy and humor and troubleshooting and organization for Good and not Evil. And I've had a lot of practice in how to be a parent just from problem solving issues in my work environment. Everyone wants a pat on the head and to feel like they belong and their voice is heard.

I'm in the midst of the longest break from work I've ever had in my life, and we're barely at the beginning of week three of maternity leave. Work and I need this break to rekindle the romance of why we chose each other. I'd still like to be a writer one day, but that might have to wait until after we've won the lottery (which we don't even play). And really, I don't think I'd enjoy being a full-time writer since it involves a lot of alone time with a keyboard and that would slowly drive me insane.

So while I'm not sure that a true "dream job" exists, my gig is pretty good. My mother told me once years ago that Confucius says if you love your job, you'll never work another day in your life. I think about that all the time, particularly when faced with frustration. Really, I have just taken it to mean that no matter what I do, make sure it's something that I am passionate about or else it will never last.