DLand - Breakfast at Tiffany's? No, Lunch at Animal Jungle

in ,

So today was project day at the office. We spent hours ... hours ... in Animal Jungle looking for the perfect aquarium for the office. First it

was the long one, then the tall one, then the curved one. We finally settled on

one that is 4 feet wide and ultra tall. We waffled for a moment on salt water,

but then realized the office fish didn't need to be that high maintenance.

Animal Jungle had lots of cool things in it. They had a monkey with no tail

(adopted store pet). They had HUGE coy. I suggested we could put one in our fish

tank but Bossman said it would just knock the tank over. He's probably right.

Then I saw the cutest little furry thing. The label claimed it was a Coatimundi.

But it just was cute and furry.

Me: Can we get a pet monkey for the office instead?

Bossman: We already have a pet monkey in the office.

Me: ooo oOo oOO OOO E! EEE! EEEEEE!

Bossman (walking away and shaking his head): Monkey Girl.

There was also an Asian Water Monitor that was as big as me for $1500. Basically

it was like paying for your own disfiguring injury. This thing was HUGE and

didn't look friendly. What a stupid pet. And speaking of stupid ...

We're leaving and there's this big bru-ha-ha at the cash register. Apparently, an

ex-employee had come in and stolen a bird. They were looking at the security tape

and saying how it was so dumb because she should have known they would have

looked at the cameras when the bird turned up missing. But the really stupid part

was when we asked how she got out with it.

Jungle Manager: She stuck it under her shirt.

Us: She WHAT?!

Jungle Manager: She stuck it under her shirt.

Jungle Cashier Girl: I wouldn't put that thing under my shirt!

No lie, Jungle Cashier Girl. Stolen bird and a free nipple piercing. Maybe for an

encore, she'll try to stick the Asian Water Monitor under her shirt. I say if she

makes it to the door alive, let her keep it.

Oh, and the girl working in the fish department dropped a box of fish, sloshing

salt water all over her. She started hopping around like a cheerleader. "Ah! I

just shaved my legs this morning and this really burns!" Hee hee. I watched the

salt water leg shave dance.

What did you do for lunch?